


Dating Advice

by invisible_aliens



Series: Carry On Countdown 2018 [21]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: M/M, Pre-Relationship, Relationship Advice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 19:35:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17065808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/invisible_aliens/pseuds/invisible_aliens
Summary: A dryad in the forest gives Simon some advice concerning Baz.Written for the Carry On Countdown 2018, Day 21: Nature





	Dating Advice

**EBB**

I spend most of my time looking after the goats or in my cottage, stoking the fire in winter and drinking tea. But most days, I also find time to go for a walk in the Wavering Wood.

It’s a cool morning, so I pull a jacket on and grab my staff before I leave the cottage.

I see Simon in the Wood, but he doesn't see me. I stay out of his way. He's sitting against _her_ tree. I had hoped to talk to her today, but I don't want to with Simon there.

Maybe she can share some of her wisdom with him today. He could probably use it.

  


**SIMON**

I'm leaning against a tree in the Wavering Wood, enjoying the peace and quiet, when I hear a voice from behind me.

“Did you have to choose _my_ tree to lean against?”

I turn around, startled.

It's a dryad.

“Umm… I'm sorry,” I stammer.” I was just…”

I wave my arms around.

She frowns at me. “Just what?”

I sigh. “Look, I'm sorry. No one usually says anything when I sit by a tree.”

She crosses her arms. “Well you haven't sat by my tree before then, have you? I'm not scared of you humans. That woman, she's always coming past. She likes to pretend it's a coincidence, but I know it's not.”

“Woman? What woman?”

“It’s not that I don't like her, exactly…”

“If you like her, what woman?”

“You know her, she mentions you sometimes. The powerful one. The goat woman.”

“Ebb?” Why would Ebb waste her time talking to a dryad?

“Ah, yes, that's her name!”

“Why would she bother talking to someone as annoying as you?”

“Annoying? That's not what Ebb thinks. She's always asking me on dates. In a roundabout fashion, of course. I think she's convinced I just haven't realised how she feels yet.”

“Ebb asked you on a date?” I can't imagine Ebb going a date.

“Many times.” I can't imagine her asking anyone, either. She's so focused on looking after the goats, she doesn't have much time left for anyone.

The dryad sighs. “I'm getting sick of it. She's too persistent! It's been almost two decades.”

“She's been going after you for twenty years?” This is a whole side of Ebb I've never known about. It makes me sad, in a way.

“Yes!”

“And if it's not that you don’t like her, why haven't you ever said yes?”

She rolls her eyes. “You're one of those hopeless overly romantic humans, aren't you? Well, I'm not even sure I like her in that way. And even if I did, it wouldn't be practical. I live here, in the forest. She lives in that cottage. Because she's human, and I'm not human.”

“But if it's what you want, surely you could make it work?”

“I told you, I'm not even sure it's what I want! And that isn't the point. Like you're one to talk, anyway.”

I blink in surprise. “Me? What are you talking about?”

“You and the fire boy!”

Fire boy… “Do you mean Baz?”

“Yes, the vampire. Do you worry about that?”

“Of course I worry about it! He wants to kill me!” What is this dryad on about?

“But you love him, don't you?”

“Yes.”

I'm more than surprised than she is. I didn't know I was going to say that. I want to try and deny it, but I can't. Because it's true.

“How can you tell me pursue a relationship when you haven't followed your own advice? Especially when you're clearly in a better position than me to actually made a move towards a sensible relationship.”

“But… I didn't even know!” Why am I defending my actions to a dryad I only just met? “And there's no point. I already told you wants to kill me! I don't need to give another reason to laugh at me.”

I can just imagine him. “ _How pathetic to do you have to be to fall in love someone who hates you? You're weak, Snow_.” (And then he'd give me one of those weirdly attractive smirks.)

(And he'd be right, it is pathetic.) (It's even more pathetic that I didn't even realise.)

“Are you sure he hates you?” asks the dryad. She tilts her head expectantly.

“Of course he does! He's tried to kill me multiple times!”

“Hmm. Ebb seems to think the two of you have been getting on well lately.”

“What would she know about the two of us?” I don't know where Ebb gets all this from.

“She talks to you.”

“Yeah, and I told her about how he's got it in for me!”

The dryad giggles.

“What?” I scowl.

“I happen to know she's right.”

“What would you know, sitting here in the forest?” (Why does no one ever believe me about Baz? Ebb and the dryad don't believe he hates me. Penny never believes he's plotting, and Agatha doesn't believe he's evil.)

(Okay, maybe he's not completely evil. I'm not stupid enough to fall in love with someone who's actually evil.) (Am I?)

“I know things!” she insists. “I talk to people. And I listen. Ebb come by most days. And I'm talking you right now, aren't I? And I talk to Baz sometimes, too.”

“You've talked to Baz? What did say? Did you overhear what he was plotting?”

She rolls her eyes. “He's not plotting about anything! He just wanted to talk about you. I'm sick of him talking about you. But my point is, I don't think he hates you as much as you think.”

I study the dryad. What's she trying to tell me?

“You should go talk him. Tell him how you feel so I don't have to listen to any more whining!”

She could be lying. But I don't think so. What would she get from lying about _this_?

Hope is building in my stomach. Nerves and excitement all mixed together.

“Alright,” I say. “I'll go talk to him.”

I run out of the Wood as fast as I can.

  


**EBB**

I can hear Simon running through the Wood towards me. I stand under some trees and watch as he rushes past, a huge grin on his face. (He's lucky he hasn't fallen over.)

I was right, the dryad has helped him. Given him what he wanted, what he needed. (In a way she can't for me.)

But he deserves to happy. And so does Baz.

They deserve to happy together.


End file.
